Date : Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Time : 9:55 PM

Title :

Ant and I are clopping along the corridors, surrounded by people. We're carrying armfuls of streamers and balloons, and plastic boxes full of sausage rolls, jelly and other goodies.

Hospital are always quiet. Hush, people are ill, don't make any noise. But today is different. Today Michele is thirteen years old. She's going out with a bang.

The doctors didn't terribly approve. A party in a hospital? Loud music? Friends, dancing? Well....there are other people in here, you know. Sick people...

But it makes me feel better. We've got used to the idea that she's gone, now we just want to celebrate her life. Happy Birthday Michele! Goodbye, darling. Look, Simon is here, and Nana and Granddad and Jill and Zoe. They didn't let us bring Daisy the cat- animals in the ward were just too much- but everyone else is here. Who knows, if we make enough noise, maybe we'll wake you up.

Open the door. There she is, head pushed back as always. All together now...


HAPPY BIRTHDAY MICHELE!



Happy Birtdhay Michele!

It was a good party. They all enjoyed themselves-well, they looked as if they did, anyway. Mum and Dad are sitting on my bed, each holding a hand. There are streamers all over the bed, balloons rolling on the floor. They popped so many that the nurse came in and said we'd give the other patients a heart attack if we made any more noise. There was a cake with candles, there was jelly and sausage rolls. We played the music really loud! Jill and Zoe did a dance around the room and nearly knocked the heart monitor over. Mum and Dad turned out the lights and lit the candles and everyone sang Happy Birthday, and they blew the candles out for Michele. Michele would have enjoyed it. It's a pity she couldn't come.

Yes, I know. I've let you all down. I didn't dance or sing, I didn't even blink. But i did enjoy it. I wish I could say.


" Goodbye, darling. I'm so, so sorry. Goodbye."
" Goodbye, Michele."
" Goodbye."

Yes, goodbye, Mum, goodbye Dad! It was good of you to try for so long. I' m sorry, but the doctor's right, Michele isn't here. It's just this old shell and these old memories. They look the same, but they don't mean anything, really.

But poor Mum, she has to try. One last time. Here she goes again, holding the things up before me. Teddy bear, clothes, Cds. Picture of Michele with her mum and dad. Picture of Michele dancing with Jill and Zoe. Poor Michele. Poor Mum and Dad! Tonight they take the tubes out. It won't hurt , they've told them that. It's the best thing.

-to be continued-