Date : Saturday, October 31, 2009
Time : 9:23 PM

Title : Moody moody =[

Haih.


Still not in a very good mood. Hmm....still studying sejarah XDD



But I think,after 3 days of exam next week, I'll be back to happy again! =Dst


By the way...on the 21st Nov I'll be going to Bukit Tinggi ( Berjaya Hills) with mom for a vacation. It's a cool place, full of serenity and peace, and also surrounded by nature. Gonna release stress! =DD Lol...gonna ride on horses too XDD



p.s. Haiz. Melz, I missed you. Both Evon and I missed you. And I really hope to see you online!!=[

Date : Thursday, October 29, 2009
Time : 9:29 PM

Title : total failure. not really.

Ok.I want you to imagine a situation......Have you ever in your life, you work really hard for something and you sacrificed other things in order to achieve your goal?


You did work really hard. You sacrificed everything else because of this. Imagine you sacrificed your sleeping time, lets say you had only one or two hours of sleep each night.


You used your heart and mind, and determination to achieve your goal. There's a saying, " Practice makes perfect" After all your hard work, you expected to get good outcome. That is, you are confident that your goal can be achieved.


But....yeah. There's always a but, right? But, when your hopes are all high, you really thought that you can achieve your goal, it turned out that...you failed.Yeah, from there, you started to think...what and where could possibly went wrong? You work hard for it...yeah you really did. Now all your hopes are shattered....and you felt totally hopeless and useless.


..
....
.....
..........
.............



Yeah. That's me. ME. Today.......is just...sucks....just really sucks..


What happened?..


After school, which is after choir practice, I went to bus stop, as usual. I saw Evon there. I was eager to know my sejarah marks....since the last period was Sej. But I wasn't there...I was in the choir room. She looked kinda dull...and she said my struktur bahagian A in paper 2....got 29 out of 40.


29/40?


What the heck? The moment I heard that...I felt the whole sky went dark. All my hopes crushed. My heart shattered. I've NEVER felt that disappointed before. Especially in exams. Normally when I get D or C, it doesn't matter. I take it easily. Coz I knew I didn't study well...so, I knew what's the outcome.


But now..haiz. Okay, the story goes like this. Pn. Guna gave us exercise to do for the exam. Chapter 1 to 9. SHe said almost everything will be coming out, so she encouraged us to do and memorize it.She only gave us the exercise, didn't give the answers. Coz we're supposed to do it ourselves. Ok, so I took it seriously, I went home and do....find the answers from the textbook, since the answers are based on textbook. I do and do and do....there's whole lot of question in that exercise...chap 1-9...not an easy task. However..I was determined to finish it and memorize...until the very last minute. I find the answers.....but I'm not sure whether it's correct or not. But...nevermind...I just memorized....everything.


Ok. Exam day. Bahagian A. I did it smoothly...seriously, very smoothly. I didn't have to look at the questions twice. I finish everything within half an hour. Everything really came out in the exam. Bulat-bulat.


I expected I could get maybe 35 and above? Yeah..very high expectations. Because, I MEMORIZE EVERYTHING. Before today, I heard some of the students got very high marks. Some even get full marks. So..I thought to myself, ok, maybe I have the chance to score. Until today......I realized how wrong I was.


At the bus stop, I fought myself from crying. But..I couldn't handle the load of disappointment on my heart. Yes, my heart.So...eventually I broke down.


Now I know why I got so low marks when I have already memorize everything.



Because....other classes got the answer sheet from their teacher. They pass it to their friends. So? Why wasting your time doing the exercise yourself? Might as well straight memorize from the answer sheet. Everything is there. Guaranteed correct. Yes,I searched the answers from the textbook, doesn't mean I can find them correctly.


But what about me? I didn't know they have the answer sheets.Even Evon didn't know about it. But others know...almost everything got the answer sheet. What? we're like orang kampung? We were like so BLUR??


I DID ALL OF THEM BY MYSELF. I SEARCHED THE ANSWERS ONE BY ONE. I USED ALL MY HEART AND DETERMINATION TO DO AND MEMORIZE EVERYTHING...EVEN UNTIL THE VERY LAST MINUTE.


WNHAT DID I GET???!!! HUH???!!! TELL ME??!!! WHAT THE FCK DID I GET???? CALL ME A FCKING DUMBASS, IDIOT, STUPID OR WHATEVER!!!! OR A LAZY ASS. I DON'T CARE.


Even the essay part ( bahagian B) were ALL taken FROM the PAPER. YES FROM THE PAPER. DO I STILL HAVE HIGH HOPES FOR IT? DEFINITELY NOT.



Sigh....still got paper 1 ( objective) to go...next Monday. I don't know what to do la seriously.....



But...I realized...that. Failure is success. Yeah, last year I was kicked to the last class. I fought for it, for PMR. In the end I succeeded. Because I failed.



Sigh.....ok...I'll try my best to do objective...though I don't really have the determination already. I just hope I could get an A2.

Date : Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Time : 10:25 PM

Title : Safe.

HAHAHA.



I got 52 for add maths. Safe and sound. =.=


Waiting to get Sejarah paper tomorrow....if possible =D

Date : Friday, October 23, 2009
Time : 10:14 PM

Title :

This week is a HELL for me. YES. I meant it. HELL.

Sejarah paper 2 on Tuesday. For four days I've been doing and memorizing the sej paper Pn.Guna gave us to do. Yes. Memorize from chap 1 to 9 in four days. I was memorizing the ques and also answers coz she said 95% of it is coming out in exam. The night before the exam, I slept for...only an hour. The rest I used them to MEMORIZEEEE. Part A I can answer all of them easily. All the answers inside my mind. XD However..when it comes to essay part, which is mostly from chap 7-9, I forgot some of the points.....sigh. Nevermind about that.


The next day would be Moral. So. I planned like....I'm gonna sleep till 3 a.m and wake up to memorize the nilai. Yeah, last minute. It's my style XD. Okay, so the alarm did wake me up at 3 a.m. The moment I sat up straight, my nose bled. Yeah, no kidding. Sounds kinda exaggerated huh? Nope. It did happened =.= For what I didn't know why. Which also means, I had to sleep. Fine. I'll memorize in school. I've got time to memorize though, coz Moral starts after recess. Surprisingly, in 2 hours I managed to memorize almost 36 nilai XD. Not the whole definition la, keyword saje. Memorizing the keywords helps me a lot. I think I did better in Moral this time.
All I hope is at least an A2. At least 65. I'm tired of getting B in Moral -.-


Okay. This is the worst part. I can say that my English is well. G.O.N.E. Yeah, gone. No kidding.
First, Eng paper 1 ( essay) Supposedly the time duration was 7.40-9.55. Okay...so I wrote......and wrote....happily. I finished writing the 4th paragraph when it was 9 a.m. Out of the sudden, Pn Azatul came in and announced, " Sorry, there's a typing error in the timetable. The time was supposed to be 7.45-9.30"


HECK. Yeah, I cursed "shit". There was only 30 mins left for me to finish up my essay. I had many more to write and honestly I have no time. So...I changed plan at the last minute. I changed the idea, the plot. SO. The story ended up...being a ridiculous story. You wouldn't want to know. I honestly didn't want teacher to mark it nor to read it. Worse, the ending was ended abruptly. Yes, only two sentences. Because? Teacher announced " time over"


English paper 2. Not really a problem. But the last part, literature part. The ques asked to write on one important lesson that we've learned from the story. ONE important lesson. 15 marks.
What the heck? Okay. I wrote almost...maybe 15 lines? Like....half of the page? Less than half of the page. While other people wrote almost full page or 2 pages. Yeah. DOOMED. I'M SO DOOMED. 15 MARKS TAK ADA.



Swell. I should forget it. What has passed, is passed.



p.s. See? No doubt I wouldn't get an A1 in English. Just look at my grammar and the broken-english. =.=

Date : Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Time : 9:29 PM

Title :

WOOOOO!!!


HAHAHAHAHA. LETS SING WITH MEH....


F! to the A! to the I! to the L!!!!


[FAIL IT!!] - M. J [ May Jackson]

They told me don't you ever come around HERE!
Don't wanna see your face, you better get lost!
The ICE's in their eyes and their words are really mean
So fail it~ just fail it


You better dig, You better DIG what you CAN
Don't wanna see NO gold , Don't be a macho woman
You wanna be failure, better do what you CAN
So FAIL it, but you wanna be GOOD

Just fail it, fail it, fail it, fail it
No one wants to be defeated
showin' hows squirrel weak is your fight
It doesn't matter who's the epic failure
Just fail it,fail it [beat it]
Just fail it,fail it [beat it]
Just fail it, fail it [beat it]


You have to show them that you're really NO SCARE
You're playing with your MATHS, this ain't no truth or dare
It'll kick you and it'll fail you
then they tell you it's pass
So fail it, just fail it


[repeat 3x]




Last minute study- SO FAIL IT~~ fail it! Add maths epic FAIL!! =DDDD

Date : Friday, October 9, 2009
Time : 9:23 PM

Title :

YES! Finally ( not really final) I get to sit back and relax....a little.This week has been like hell for me. Non stop studying and memorizing (last minute) till the extend of 3-4 hours sleep per night =.=. Exam started on Wed with Chem paper, followed by Physics on Thurs and Bio, today. For Chem..I had only one wish...that is to AT LEAST pass the paper =.=!! The front part was kinda easy...but essay part...I almost blank the whole essay part. When I read the question, it was as if I was staring at an alien. Lol, I actually plan to blank everything... but it's not a good option though.Each ques is about 6-8 marks. Guess how many sentences I wrote? 1 or 2 sentences. That's it.


Next Mon and Tues are holidays for science classes XD. And I'm not supposed to enjoy the holidays.....I gotta study all day -.- BM paper 1 ( karangan) and Add Maths paper 2. Two big subjects a day. Woot.


=D